Friday, October 11, 2013

"Short Skirt" and A Longggg Longggggggg BlogAboutIt

So a few weeks ago, I posted this on my Facebook:

"To the girls who yelled out their car window that my knee length pencil skirt was "too short" for BYUI: Thank you so much for telling me your opinion in such a classy and kind way. Maybe I should've yelled back that your car could use a rinse, but I didn't think that it was appropriate. You should know that I take very seriously what I have yelled at me out car windows. Said no one with a brain ever. So next time you want to act like the self righteous prick I am sure you are, why don't you do it in a less cowardly way."

I'll tell you the whole story. 

I have lovely roommates, one of whom is engaged and her best friend, both who visited Pocatello on the Sunday in question. Another has a boyfriend, and wanted to see her old ward. Another had just gotten into town early that morning, and so none of them were planning on going to my ward. It wasn't a big deal, but I didn't want to go to a new ward by myself, so instead I went to my friend Erin's ward. 

I live a few blocks away from Erin, and her church is super close to her house, so no one drove. As a result, I had to walk home by myself. I decided to call my friend Ashley, from Maryland, and chat with her on the way. 

As I was speaking to her, I was kind of holding down my pencil skirt. There was a strong breeze, and, as many of you ladies know, if you're walking around a ton even the best pencil skirt is going to come a bit above your knees to allow better movement. I was also going uphill, so I was really lifting my knees. I was focused on my conversation and walking, but I did notice a car about to pass me with three girls inside. 

My concentration was broken by the cawing of one of the girls inside the car. "That skirt's too short for BYUI!" She screamed. She and the other girls cackled, and the driver sped up. 

Ashley immediately started cussing in my ear, asking me what that was, what had been said. I was embarrassed for my school, and everyone on the street had turned around to see what the hags had been shrieking about.   

There are several things that were so wrong with this situation, number one being, why the heck do you think it's a good idea to yell your opinion out a window at anyone? You obviously have been in the bubble too long. I hope you try that in the real world, you'll definitely get blue, purple, and black results. 

Second, what if I was a freshman, who had just left home and was probably scared and feeling kind of alone? A few years ago I was an extremely awkward girl who was uncomfortable with my appearance.  Whenever I found an outfit I thought made me look pretty, my self esteem would shoot up, and I would feel excited and happy about being myself. I'm older now, and I have confidence and I love who I am, but if you had shouted out your window at me five years ago, why on Earth would I want to stay at this school? I would honestly have not known what to do.  

Third, I was obviously walking home by myself. Maybe being on my own made me an easier target for your ridiculous and malicious? I don't know, but whatever it was that made it so easy for you to act like such a peasant, please pull your head out of your rear. 

Another thing. This is a church school, and I understand there are certain standards. However, even if I was wearing something inappropriate, it is not your responsibility to correct me in such a despicable manner. You are the face of those people who make this school into a joke. 

You obviously claim to follow the commandments to a T. Did you ever hear about Jesus treating anyone in such a fashion? You can look through any set of scriptures and I guarantee that such a passage will never ever show up. 

You make this church look like a judgmental den of jealous women and depraved men. I was on the phone with a very good friend of mine, a nonmember whom I love very much. She overheard you screaming your distaste, and she was disgusted. How embarrassing. I love this religion, but how am I supposed to share it with my friends when I'm not sure if members can properly behave thems
elves? I felt like so much credibility went out the window with your words. She instantly was protective and concerned for me, and disgusted with my school. Again how embarrassed and how ashamed you should be. 

I've had some pretty ridiculous stuff yelled out of car windows at me, I'm pretty used to it. It's been part of my life since I was fourteen years old. I normally would not be offended, just kind of annoyed. With guys, it's just a way of voicing a lewd thought. It's gross, but I can handle that kind of gross. It's the idea that you might think that your actions are appropriate that really gets under my skin. One day, you'll say something to the wrong girl, a girl who is nervous and young and uncomfortable in her own skin. When that day comes, whatever actions that follow are on your head. 

I hope you realize your error, and do your best to correct it. I hope one day you realize that your rude statements, which I'm sure you consider "corrections," are not what the church I love promotes, and that being a coward is perhaps only better than being a hypocrite. I hope you regret your actions, and that someday someone has a chance to teach you a lesson, because you surely didn't want to give me a chance to defend myself. 

Well, this is as close as I can get to confronting you. Enjoy your bubble, your cowardice will not be safe outside of it. What a rude awakening you are in for. 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Ridiculous Housing of HoCo

How long does it take for house construction to destroy a county?

About five years, by my witness. 

Now, before you start telling me I'm a tree hugger, let me say I'm a believer in moderation, preservation, sustainability, and respect. I love Maryland, but if we keep building this way there won't be many ancient trees and green for me to love. 

I first noticed the ridiculousness of the housing industry in my neighborhood a few years ago. There were so many people I knew wanting to sell their home, but the economy was terrible and nobody could buy, but somehow everyone was pouring into these newer, more expensive homes. I watched as the cornfield near my elementary school was torn down, and the open land next to my middle school turned into townhouses. I was kind of confused, but I didn't think too much about it until the next wave of building arrived. I was in high school. 

Suddenly deer, fox, and groundhogs were everywhere. I went running with my friend Jessica and we saw over fifty deer in the yard of a foreclosed home. It was even worse when we went running on the woodland trails. There were literally starving deer everywhere, unable to get too far because of the roads and their fear of humans. It was one of the most appalling sights I have ever seen, the genocide of an ecosystem strictly to please home buyers, the majority of whom, if we're all being honest, could not afford it. 

Now a new housing development is popping up off of my favorite road, which also happens to be where most of the deer have relocated to. If you thought the deer related accidents that went down on that road were high now, I dare you to think about what it's going to be like soon. You won't like the numbers. 

The Maryland I live in, the Maryland I love, is going to be a very different Maryland by the time I have children. It's too late to change that for HoCo, but there are other counties. I hate to say it, HoCo, but if you keep this up, then you're on your way out. People are leaving for counties that love spaces and celebrate Maryland as a beautiful land, not just grass and trees to be ripped up for a house just like twenty others in your neighborhood. Good luck, HoCo.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Random Confessions

  1. Whenever people say, "Pugs are so ugly, they're cute", I just want to say, "Actually, they're so ugly that... that's it. They're really just freaking ugly."
  2. Sometimes, I get obsessed with the Word Bubbles game, and I have to keep playing it until I get 3000. I know it's not a lot, but... I've only gotten 3000 like four times. And that's the part I'm sad about. 
  3. I probably drop my phone at least ten times a day, and I remain unashamed of this. 
  4. I go through stages where I really want to like honey, because it's supposed to be so good for you, but I just... can't. Unless it's on tempura bananas. 
  5. I love koalas. I want to meet a koala and hug that koala. And just stand there, hugging that koala, forever.
  6. Trees are some of my favorite things. I miss them so much whenever I'm out west. There's just something magic about how big they grow, fighting the elements, surviving through centuries and millions of lives. Trees are witness to so much, and they never stop growing, as long as they live. I think everyone should be like trees, always growing.
  7. Whenever I see this 
     or this
    I tend to laugh so hard, I cry. 
  8. When I was fifteen I threw up on my neighbor's lawn in the middle of a blizzard... and then I ran away. 
  9. I love the movie How to Train Your Dragon so much, every time I go babysitting and the kids want to watch a movie I casually suggest it by putting it in the DVD player. And then we watch it. 
  10. The anxiety I feel about being on the Beltway probably effects my data as a healthy volunteer at NIH. I'm pretty sure a study can tell whenever I've been driving. 
  11. One time someone asked me why I go to BYUI, and I said it was because I wanted to be an eskimo when I grew up. And then I thought back to my two semesters at BYUI, and how I thought 30* was too warm for even a light jacket, and I thought, I have to leave this place.
  12. Though I've been in choirs since I was seven years old, I still have to hear my part before I know it. Notes on a page don't mean much to me. I work on this as often as I can by teaching myself piano, but music is so instinctual and simple muscle memory to me at this point that I've kind of accepted that this is the way I learn my singing parts.  
  13. I love exercising, but I love sleeping more. 
  14. Sometimes I wish I could hibernate. That's how much I love sleeping. I love my life, and I love that sleep is part of it. 
  15. I don't tan. I've laid out for hours, walked around amusement parks all day, and my body is still snow white. 
  16. Dark red nails are the way to go. Seriously. I feel so BA whenever I've got s pair of dark red nails. 
  17. I do my best to avoid wearing pants during the summer, but if you really insist, I'll wear leggings. And that's the best offer you'll get, because I live in Maryland.    
  18. I'd really like to learn a new language, but I learn language the way I sing, and it makes things a little more difficult.
  19. I really love books. I'm still jealous of the library Belle got.
  20. I think the movie Austenland looks hilarious. 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

How to Get Your Room Back

Ever come back from college, only to discover that your room has been handed over to your younger sibling? Don't worry! I have several steps you can take to solve your problem!

1. Offer your sibling $50 to switch rooms!
2. When that doesn't work, make your new room the cutest thing!
3. Don't sleep in there, sleep in your old bed, even if your sibling is there too! (This works on all bed sizes. The smaller, the more likely they are to give up sooner!)
4. Ask them to go into your new room often. Get them used to the gorgeousness of it all!
5. Get them to ask you for it!
6. Reluctantly agree that we probably should switch rooms. 
7. When your mom says no way, reluctantly say she is right. (This adds fuel to your sibling's fire!)
8. Get sick! But keep sleeping in your old bed!
9. Get sicker. 
10. Wake up sibling with crying b/c you are sick. 
11. Sibling will uneasily move into your new room with permission from uneasy parents!
12. (Kind of) Sleep in your old room. Sneeze and cough all over the place. You are practically a biological weapon!
13. Get laryngitis!
14. Miserably wonder if this room is worth it. 

There you have it! All the directions you need to get your old room back! You may be sick, but why not profit from it? 



Thursday, July 4, 2013

In God We Trust

Francis Scott Key's "The Star Spangled Banner" is not just his. 

Let me catch you up with a bit of history. 

Key was a lawyer from Georgetown, and a good friend of Dr. William Beanes. Dr. Beanes was pretty BA if I do say so myself; he was a prisoner of the British due to his putting some rowdy hooligans under citizen's arrest. Yes, citizen's arrest. It's so BA. 

So, Key wanted to go rescue him, as did his friend John Stuart Skinner, a lawyer himself. They were on board a British ship for about a week, arranging the return of their friend, and by the end of it it was determined that they could not return to Baltimore because they knew some details of the plan to attack Baltimore. 

Here's why the British wanted to attack Baltimore. 

Baltimore has always been... erm... not the classiest city in the world. I love it, I really do, but it's just a fact. So, Baltimore was kinda a thorn in Britain's side. In addition to being a bustling port, B-more also was thought to host privateers that was cheerfully destroying Britain's attempts to trade with America by taking out importing ships. (We remain unapologetic when it comes to this matter.) 

Anyways, the British attacked Alexandria, VA, and then set their sights on Baltimore. They came via the land, and the Bay. In efforts to thwart the British Navy, merchants sank their ships, creating obstacles in the Bay. 

One thousand men waited in Fort McHenry for the battle. 

It lasted 25 hours. 

25 hours of constant booming, constant rockets, constant cannons. 

The misery of those unwilling to abandon their city must have been unspeakable.

The grim determination of the soldiers in the fort is unimaginable. 

Francis Scott Key was on board a truce ship a ways away. He was allowed to watch the city as it was attacked. 

When I hear this, I wonder if I could do that. I wonder if I could watch my city burn, and then I read his famed poem and I understand why he had to. 

Sometimes you just can't take your eyes away. If there is nothing else you can do, you can watch, and honor your city by sympathetically viewing its demise, by being a loving eye to the troops desperately protecting everything that they own. 

Night can be deceptive, and as the sun rises I imagine some didn't dare to hope that the flag had lasted through the night. The people in the city waited, and watched. Had Baltimore?, had America, lasted the night.

There is a certain relief you hear in Key's poem, and at the same time disbelief, for it is not just Key's voice we hear, but the voices of thousands of soldiers and civilians, exhausted and in love with a country that might be gone. Is that the star spangled banner? Are you certain? Is it still there? After all the wreckage that has been aimed at it, is it still there.  

Yes, there it is. I see it, do you? Stubbornly waving, determined as a country. 

Determined as my country. 

O say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country, should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation.
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Brian And Girlfriend And Des And Chris... Ahem.

Des drives up to the house in her blue convertible. Her hair is still perfect.

Des pulls Brian aside and stalls him. Brian assures Des that his last relationship was insignificant and that two months could be considered two hundred years. Des continues to stall. She doesn't like confrontation.

She then gets confirmation that Brian's girlfriend is there. Relieved, she informs Brian.

Girlfriend is calm at first. She asks Brian if he is capable of love and informs him that that's why Des is on the show. Des nods, pleased at the calm manner of Girlfriend.

Brian sits in an awkward position. He looks shockingly like Ames when Ames is trying to act normal.

The guys are all shocked. Actually they act pumped out of their heads. They were promised drama, and so far the only drama that has been produced since fantasy date douche was their own manufactured Ben drama. They've been wallowing until now. They are so happy to prove to Des how uncool they think this is. They all try to eavesdrop.

Mikey chews on his whole fist.

One boy's head turns into a lamp.

No one is concerned as they are all drinking. It is barely afternoon. Poor Brooks can't even navigate his sweatshirt.

It really is unfortunate.

Chris tries to get to the bottom of it all, asking Brian what the deal is. Brian tries to answer, but Girlfriend quickly gets loud loud with him. Des and Chris quickly realize the situation is out of control. The thought pains Chris.

Brian cannot speak. Des sits down next to Girlfriend in an attempt at a show of solidarity. Girlfriend promptly drops the f bomb as soon as Des's butt hits the couch.

Des rethinks her desire to show solidarity with this leather leggings clad creature. Girlfriend has a son. Des blinks. That Donovan kid was unexpected. Chris tries to counsel. Girlfriend will not receive Chris's counselling. Who does he think he is anyway. Chris remains calm and classy. He lets Girlfriend go at it. Des tries to speak. Everyone else speaks too.

The "babe" word gets dropped. No wonder they almost broke up. Girlfriend knows the day filming wraps on the show. Brian obviously thinks very highly of his ability to woo Des since he told Girlfriend that was the day he would be coming home. Chris repeats "Steph, hold on for a sec." like a million times. Girlfriend continues to go off. Des manages to get a sentence out. Girlfriend quietly tells Des that Brian is a bad man. Girlfriend turns back to Brian and crescendoes, declaring that that is why she flew out to California, so she can expose him as a man of strip clubs and fame whoredom. Brian just says "Steph" like a million times. Girlfriend tells Brian that all he had to do was tell her that he was going on the Bachelorette. Somehow I don't believe that would be the end of things.

Brian finally gets to talk. He claims he went to casting calls so he could get out of their toxic relationship. You see, Girlfriend threw rocks at him. Girlfriend assures the cameras it was because Brian is a jerk. That makes it better.

These are clearly two mature adults who just didn't know how to end a relationship properly. Brian alleges that Girlfriend was seeing other people too! Girlfriend says "Well I wanted to break up with you." Clearly I am mistaken and it takes two consenting parties to break up. One cannot break up with the other. It must be mutual.

Des tries really hard to get a word in. This is her chance to be like Ali from a couple seasons back on the Bachelorette, who famously shut down Rated R! Girlfriend will not give her a chance. This is Girlfriend's boyfriend and sheeeeee is in charge of the break up. Des realizes this is really not something she wants to be involved in. Brian admits to sleeping with Girlfriend two days before coming on the show. Des purses her lips.

Brian is ashamed. "I know how this is gonna look -" Girlfriend jumps in. "It's gonna look like the truth."


Chris is fed up with these kids acting out on his show. Chris is too cool and mature to be around them much longer. Des states that Brian is not here for the right reasons. This was no longer a question in most viewers' heads. Des tries to tell Brian to leave, but no one can hear her. Chris takes charge and asks Brian to leave himself. Des nods, relieved she doesn't have to be too mean. Girlfriend does not pay any heed to this exchange and instead brings the conversation back to Donovan, but Chris just wants them both off of his lovely show. Chris gives up and calls security.

Des stands up to show she stands with Chris on this matter.

The other boys act like they didn't see anything. Brandon nonchalantly leans against a wall and sips coffee.

He is very convincing.

Brian does the walk of shame, complete with entourage.

Des and Girlfriend hug. Girlfriend continues to yammer as they walk towards her limo. Des is relieved to say goodbye and concludes she can only trust her instincts, as they have served her so well to this point.

And Brian gets into the van of shame.

Bye, Brian!

The boys have a venting session. They are disgusted. They left so much behind to get famous... and date Des. Ben wears a stupid shirt and joins into the venting session.

He is secretly pleased that the guys agree with something he says.

Juan Pablo still doesn't understand exactly what happened, but he puts on a grave face. He is still a man.

Des and Chris walk back to tell the guys what happened. Brooks grins.

He is obviously high off painkillers.

Des is not okay with this. She takes this seriously. She gives the boys one last chance to tell her they aren't here for the right reasons. Obviously no one steps up. Bryden is there for the right reasons, though. Just look at him.

So then Des goes on a date with Kasey of the strange hair.



Saturday, June 8, 2013

I think you've got an idea of what's coming...

Dear day,

I'd appreciate if you'd last a little longer.

Dear Stake YSA listing,

Please stop being so inaccurate. It's kinda stressful when people start calling you back on hidden numbers yelling at you. Not my most favorite of occurrences.

Dear D.C.,

Stop being so darn inspiring. I've never loved a city the way I've loved you.

Dear OPI Suede,

The addiction I have to you is somewhat embarrassing. You can shut up about how hot you make my nails look now.

Dear Judge Milian of the People's Court,

You make being a judge look so BA. I hope I'm just like you someday.

Dear books,

I have missed you! An entire two semesters is way too long!

Dear food,

Please magically make yourself.

Dear Sherlock and Watson,

Shut up. You guys are just so handsome. I'm dying.

Dear body,

Please stop sleeping so much. I swear, it's like I'm a bear in winter. The other day I slept through an hour of someone banging on the door. That's not even an exaggeration.

Dear sushi,

I love you. Why can't we just be together.

Dear Arielle,

Seriously, how are we such awesome friends. I freaking love you. Fall is going to be amazing.

Dear fambam,

What the everyday is a party. Freaking yes.